is there anything like unrequited ‘crush?’

  • Discovering the person

Well. Well.

Let’s see. Am currently in a dilemma and I don’t know what to think. So I thought why not share it and see what others have to say.

Fact is when you have a crush on someone, you notice every single detail about them, no matter how small. We have all been there. And so have I.

My friend’s kids play tennis every Tuesday and Friday and you have no idea how I look forward to these two days every freaking week! Just so I can see Carl. 

Carl is of Portuguese decent and has not only the looks, but good at the sport too. I don’t know how he started crushing on me and trust me the crush is strong. Hihihihi.

But for my case, I remember being sitted quietly watching the matches one afternoon. And as i cheered on, his opponent missed the ball. Many of us happily shouted, “Yes…”

And as I was still displaying my 32 teeth, the coach shouted at him. “Carl, watch the ball boy.”

He waved at her in knowledge of what he was doing. And before he turned to the game at hand, he looked my side. 

Why is he smiling? At me?

I know it is normal. Maybe he was just appreciating the support. But the next minutes told me I was wrong. Carl played harder and every time he made a point, he unknowingly looked my way. 

What is he doing? 

Truthfully, I would have loved the little attention but many people were watching him.

 And the lady next to me began glancing my way as well in question. 

  • Discovering the crush.

Iam not that pretty. Iam the most clumsy person you will ever know and sincerely the worst when it comes to noticing people. I noticed him. Yes I know that. Because he looked at me that day. Nonetheless I’m sure there’s tons of girls better than me. And yet the following weeks proved me wrong. He either smiled at me or said  general goodbye to the group where I was seated. Basically speaking to me. 

Because of that it was so hard to ignore him. I had to wonder ‘has he always been watching me before?’ Lurking and waiting? 

It was getting hard to not look at him and couldn’t shake him out of my head. That simple ‘hi’touched me, but not as the new year hug we shared. OMG. He had to hug almost everyone just so he could get to me…and I had been waiting.

  • Discovering the unrequited crush?

But it’s so hard to say ‘hey’ or simply smile. Walking by him playing on the court, I want to wave, but why can’t I? I feel like talking to him, but my tongue is tied. why do I feel like everyone is looking at me waiting for my reaction!

Here is what happened. One day on the court as we waited for the players to join, I see Curl walking towards the stand…but not alone. Racket bag in hand, cap in the other, a very pretty girl was walking beside him. 

“Curl has come with his girlfriend today. That’s something.”

I looked at the teenage girls on my right. They had shy smiles on them. 

He has a gf?! I turned back to the couple. 

And when I say trust me…yes..trust me.Our eyes locked. And yes, he frowned. And yes, he seemed disturbed.

She’s so gorgeous. And she was smiling. Why was he not smiling?

And why was I acting indifferent? Perhaps because deep down I knew he couldn’t be single. That’s why I kept my distance from day 1. But what was his part in this triangle? Maybe I was deceiving myself?

  • Discovering you both can’t do anything about it.

“That feeling is so strong. It is love,” my inner being told me. 

Don’t be fooled. Am talking about Carl here. I for one know my principles. Married men and hooked guys are off limit. And Curl was one. So I backed off. 

Despite that, he didn’t change. He instead upgraded his skill. He began getting friendly with my friend’s kids. Caught him staring many times. He came to sit beside me and tried to make a conversation. 

Haha. Liar. I did. 

Why?

Because he just sat next to me playing with his phone. Dumbass.

And when he tried again, I made sure to avoid him. And made sure not to ever give him my contact.

And then this one evening at a private tennis party. I could see him searching in the crowd. When he spot me, he would have this content look on him. And then act jealous when I talked to other guys(walk by with no apparent reason)

So am restraining…but he is growing more and more in love. 

Just yesterday at this same private court, his father was staring at me. Probably wondering what it was about me. And worst part…Curl as was about to leave, he came to me and said, “Goodnight” in the most soft loving way you could imagine.

My stomach churned. Boy…, I wanted to say. Boy you have a girl!

In conclusion, the body works as one system. Most people say a crush is a minor thing that goes away with time. That out of sight is out of mind. Well the eyes that see the person do the appreciation and the heart gives the consent. 

And at the end of the day, we all find ourselves running on adrenaline.

Is this unrequited love or unrequited crush?

Love always.


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