F.R.I.E.N.D.S

It’s so funny. Interesting. Sad. Pitiful and surely surprising.
People come into our lives. You dwell on them. You laugh. You share. Crack jokes. Talk nothings. You believe in them and decide, yes, these are my true friends.

Umm…they are your friends. 

But that is only because you are in good shape. Account as good as Donald Trump. Powerful as 1D. successfully as Taylor Swift. Beautiful as me. And so on. They will have your full undivided attention. And you are fully sucked into this friendship thinking, yeah…they are my closest shield against this wicked world,

‘Indeed.’

Then lightening strikes!

It all happens so fast, like a plague. They disperse off to different directions. Probably not wanting to look back. Your true friends are gone in no time. And in a day. Week. Perhaps months. Till then, you will never hear from them. Why? Because everything that had them bonded to you is destroyed. You are back to zero. So their doors are shut.

These my true friend, are the same people we live with in our daily lives. And they are close to us. People we hope to help us pick the pieces. People that we hope to help us,

‘In need.’

Friendship isn’t about whom you have known longest. But about who came and never left your side.

Don’t feel alone. Hebrews 13:5

Love always.

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Faith within Us.

I ‘think’ I can do it.

It’s one statement you hear from anybody. Literary everyone.

I’m doing it?

No. You dont just hear it from anybody. Literary such statement will come only when something expected is finally ‘happening.’

But why wait it to happen?

“Wow. I have passed my exit exam! Mom. Dad. Am doing it. Am progressing. Life is awesome.”

Hmm. I understand the excitement. Yes you have made it where many have failed. 

However, as you were preparing for the exam, things were not going right for somebody else. Perhaps their friends couldn’t help them with their notes. Maybe they didnt trust that they could actually do it. Why? Because they had bad scores in their quizes and tests. Or were also going through something emotional and felt so much under pressure. And it is at this moment where most people break. They loose.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see, Hebrews 11:1. 

I have witnessed my friends loose. And yet am winning.

Why? Because I chose the statement ‘am doing it, no matter what the world throws at me. I have learnt that living positive is such a wonderful thing. Declaring good things upon yourself with your own mouth is saying that you have faith in yourself.

I have heard stories where people have said “hey you are dreaming so big,”sarcastically. But if others have achieved their own, who are you not to? An alien? 

Faith yields hope, 

So don’t be hopeless. Be faithful to yourself from within.

Love always.

is there anything like unrequited ‘crush?’

  • Discovering the person

Well. Well.

Let’s see. Am currently in a dilemma and I don’t know what to think. So I thought why not share it and see what others have to say.

Fact is when you have a crush on someone, you notice every single detail about them, no matter how small. We have all been there. And so have I.

My friend’s kids play tennis every Tuesday and Friday and you have no idea how I look forward to these two days every freaking week! Just so I can see Carl. 

Carl is of Portuguese decent and has not only the looks, but good at the sport too. I don’t know how he started crushing on me and trust me the crush is strong. Hihihihi.

But for my case, I remember being sitted quietly watching the matches one afternoon. And as i cheered on, his opponent missed the ball. Many of us happily shouted, “Yes…”

And as I was still displaying my 32 teeth, the coach shouted at him. “Carl, watch the ball boy.”

He waved at her in knowledge of what he was doing. And before he turned to the game at hand, he looked my side. 

Why is he smiling? At me?

I know it is normal. Maybe he was just appreciating the support. But the next minutes told me I was wrong. Carl played harder and every time he made a point, he unknowingly looked my way. 

What is he doing? 

Truthfully, I would have loved the little attention but many people were watching him.

 And the lady next to me began glancing my way as well in question. 

  • Discovering the crush.

Iam not that pretty. Iam the most clumsy person you will ever know and sincerely the worst when it comes to noticing people. I noticed him. Yes I know that. Because he looked at me that day. Nonetheless I’m sure there’s tons of girls better than me. And yet the following weeks proved me wrong. He either smiled at me or said  general goodbye to the group where I was seated. Basically speaking to me. 

Because of that it was so hard to ignore him. I had to wonder ‘has he always been watching me before?’ Lurking and waiting? 

It was getting hard to not look at him and couldn’t shake him out of my head. That simple ‘hi’touched me, but not as the new year hug we shared. OMG. He had to hug almost everyone just so he could get to me…and I had been waiting.

  • Discovering the unrequited crush?

But it’s so hard to say ‘hey’ or simply smile. Walking by him playing on the court, I want to wave, but why can’t I? I feel like talking to him, but my tongue is tied. why do I feel like everyone is looking at me waiting for my reaction!

Here is what happened. One day on the court as we waited for the players to join, I see Curl walking towards the stand…but not alone. Racket bag in hand, cap in the other, a very pretty girl was walking beside him. 

“Curl has come with his girlfriend today. That’s something.”

I looked at the teenage girls on my right. They had shy smiles on them. 

He has a gf?! I turned back to the couple. 

And when I say trust me…yes..trust me.Our eyes locked. And yes, he frowned. And yes, he seemed disturbed.

She’s so gorgeous. And she was smiling. Why was he not smiling?

And why was I acting indifferent? Perhaps because deep down I knew he couldn’t be single. That’s why I kept my distance from day 1. But what was his part in this triangle? Maybe I was deceiving myself?

  • Discovering you both can’t do anything about it.

“That feeling is so strong. It is love,” my inner being told me. 

Don’t be fooled. Am talking about Carl here. I for one know my principles. Married men and hooked guys are off limit. And Curl was one. So I backed off. 

Despite that, he didn’t change. He instead upgraded his skill. He began getting friendly with my friend’s kids. Caught him staring many times. He came to sit beside me and tried to make a conversation. 

Haha. Liar. I did. 

Why?

Because he just sat next to me playing with his phone. Dumbass.

And when he tried again, I made sure to avoid him. And made sure not to ever give him my contact.

And then this one evening at a private tennis party. I could see him searching in the crowd. When he spot me, he would have this content look on him. And then act jealous when I talked to other guys(walk by with no apparent reason)

So am restraining…but he is growing more and more in love. 

Just yesterday at this same private court, his father was staring at me. Probably wondering what it was about me. And worst part…Curl as was about to leave, he came to me and said, “Goodnight” in the most soft loving way you could imagine.

My stomach churned. Boy…, I wanted to say. Boy you have a girl!

In conclusion, the body works as one system. Most people say a crush is a minor thing that goes away with time. That out of sight is out of mind. Well the eyes that see the person do the appreciation and the heart gives the consent. 

And at the end of the day, we all find ourselves running on adrenaline.

Is this unrequited love or unrequited crush?

Love always.


Internship

It’s my first day as an intern. Georgetown Public Hospital has been my focus point for the past month. Every morning I have been telling myself, “Dear…that is the one place to be. At least before I leave this country.”

It is not that there aint no other hospitals around, it is the fact that there seems an enormous base for experience for beginners like me. And in my opinion, vast of human species to learn from. By this I mean from the upper management to the lowest rank like the cleaners. Of course most people do ignore the fact that even laundry cleaners or bathroom cleaners play a vital role. 

However that was the case on my first day.

As a BSN student trying my practical skills at a hospital where majority of the nurses hold a diploma, somebody should have warned me about how much the level difference would matter.

“Wait, you are a student?” A female nurse in full white scrub uniform asked me. Obviously she was checking me from head to toe. (Okay hair to shoe) and by that I mean the hair is neatly held, uniform sparkling white and sparkling white shoe. Oh and the white stockings which I didn’t put on.haha. never will I ever.

Seeing she was done with the checking out, I smiled and told her I was indeed a student.

“What about your white cap?”

First of all I hate that word. 

CAP! 

Who in this century still wears a cap? More less a white uniform! Okay a few out there. And to be honest, my school wears white merely because the ex-dean was Philipino and he is still rooted to his roots. He insisted that in his country that was how it was. Whoee.

“And why are you in scrub and pants? Students wear dresses, young lady. With stripes on the edges!”

Okay, seriously what was her problem? Did I really have to explain myself again how iam coming from a private university and was here merely for clinical rotations? Obviously the head nurse didn’t have that time either when she allocated us to her ward. Oh by the way she is the nurse superviser.

But nonetheless, patients were waiting for our attention and here she was interrogating me. I had to fake a call. Thank God.

Hours later, as i waited for my friend who was assigned in another ward, a young woman walked in the station. At that time i was talking to a local RN from another town. 

“Excuse me, you must be the lady from Linden.”

“Of course me from Linden. But there others too. We plenty.”

She gave a weary look. “Dont be proud. What happen to Linden hospital? It get full? Why they send you here?”

The Linden lady was surprised by her response. 

But she was not as surprised as i was as the same woman turned to me. 

“Hey…i see you wearing TAU tag. Forgot we have university students now. What’s your name?”

“Peace.”

Hmm. 

She smiled and said she loved my name. That was not new. I was accustomed to people joking and laughing about the uniqueness of it. 
“You sound from Nigeria. You from Nigeria?”

Oh there we go again.

C’mon…I wanted to tell her. And I did. “Not everyone from africa is nigerian! Africa is a continent. Nigeria is a country.” Duh.

“And am Ugandan.”

“Okay so why are you here? Don’t you have schools there?”

Because she was being all naggy, I put my name aside and became Peaceless. 

“First of all iam here on private sponsorship. My parents are paying thousands of dollars for my tuition and yes, we have plenty of schools and hospitals. Oh and also handsome men.” 

Okay that last part was meant for another person i came across somewhere else. The small girl i met in the market had ignorantly said african men are dark and asked if we had fair looking men. Man oh Man. For real?

Basically I projected all my annoyance towards this nurse even when she didn’t ask about the African men.

She didnt flinch a bit. Instead she went on. “So after graduating you staying here? I hope the government is not considering retaining you guys because our local nurses hardly have jobs here. You should go back to your country and serve there.”

Interesting…, I thought. 

She was not in uniform first of all. And I later learnt she was a nurse clerk. 

So what? Does that give her the right to authorize who should stay and who shouldn’t! Or be so rude?

I don’t know how I disappeared from her sight but I did.

Thankfully as I strolled out with my friends for lunch break, this washroom cleaner suddenly stops us and says, “I love you african accent.”

We all smile. And he adds, “Incase you need me help…dont shy away me is doctor in charge today. Me everywhere.”

Looking at his appearance, we are amused. Because he is holding the bucket in his gloved hands. 

“Okay doctor. We wont hesitate,” I replied laughing.

“Thank you sir,” my friend told him.

So as i mentioned earlier everyone counts in your day. He replaced the bitterness we had with giggles.

And then came the afternoon. 

Since we know a little bit about medication, I offered to help the nurse in charge of it. Sincerely the matron told us we could grab any opportunity that presented itself…that’s only if you are free and under direct supervision. I was free so,

“Ever given an injection before?”

“Of course.”

“That’s good,”she said. She got to the patient and turned to me, “You can go and prepare the tabs.”

What?!

I know how to give an…aaaargh. Why did you even ask me? Tabs? Seriously? At least she could have told me to watch and learn. I would be forced to think she had me in her best of interest. So to say (teach me as she was taught)

But instead of helping us learn along with her, this nurse instead goes on to embarass you in the presence of the nurse aids, patients, mecical students who are doing rounds with the doctors.

“You guys are degree. You should be knowing these things.”

I replied, “And that’s why am here. To know these things.”

But seeing that she just didnt want us around, i opted out. However, because i saw the nurse aids smirking, my temper changed.
Haha. For the better. Not to jump at their throats which I would have loved to do.

My Zimbabwe friend said she would have given them a piece of her mind. However, i decided being Peaceful was best for me. I went back and stuck myself on the nurse. From room to room and trust me my skills got the better. The mockery charged me and motivated me. Even as she complained about time wasting

…be careful and avoid mistakes…

is something I dearly learnt in class. As I wasted more time on the standard five rights before medication (and she had that scorn look on her) deep within me I knew I was saving two lives. Patient life from deadly mistake to would lead to grave and Peace’s life from loosing a licence forever and ending in jail.

In conclusion, dont give up.

‘only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.’ Albert Einstein.

Love always.